titled "Depth" at a gallery in Lodz September 21, 2010."
Share ko lang :D
-At
Talk to ze Hand
Dear Hand,
I just broke up with my boyfriend of four years, and it hurts like hell. Any way I can help feeling this way?
In Extreme Pain
Dear Pain,
Pain is the brain’s way of telling you something is wrong. Physically, it can be that you’re experiencing nociceptive, inflammatory or neuropathic pain. But pain also goes way deeper, into the socioemotional realm, and it is here that even if you’re perfectly fit and healthy you still feel stressed out and hurt. Breaking up with someone you love is just one the reasons why people go into emotional pain overdrive, but it remains the most popular one. Thankfully Psychology has answers to your question, and we’ll apply what we know about the perception of physical pain to your emotional one.
Don’t expect. High expectations can kill, especially if you get disappointed. Instead, be realistic about the prospect of you and him back together, and think again why you dumped the guy. Being rational is the best way to go in this kind of situation.
Shift your attention. Be with a new hobby, or a new hubby, a habit or a hobbit, shifting your focus from your ex to your next is a good idea. Hoffman and his co-researchers (2000) suggest video games, while Robertson and colleagues (2009) advice people in pain to pray and be faithful. Hand Sam (2010a) suggests finding a new man. Take your pick.
Make sure your distraction is fun, though. The content of emotional distraction plays a huge role in alleviating or adding to one’s distress and pain. deWied and Verbaten (2001) experimented on the effect of positive versus negative distractions on pain perception by having people look at either positive, negative or neutral pictures while experiencing pain (really cold water). Their results concluded that it took more time for people in the positive pictures group to feel the pain threshold than people in both the neutral and negative pictures conditions. To apply this to your situation, what they’re saying is that you should hang out with fun people and do exciting activities more instead of lounging around and crying yourself to sleep every night watching romantic dramas.
Lastly, everything still depends on you. Individual differences account for a huge part in pain perception, and a person with a positive outlook in life experiences pain less frequently and with a significantly lesser intensity than someone who’s gloomy and all emo. So, what do you say? Chin up. There’s a ton of fishes in the ocean; if you can find one, you can find someone better.
Hope You’re Not in Pain Anymore,
Hand Sam
p. s. Opium works really well, too. :)
References:
deWeid, M. & Verbaten, M. N. (2001). Affective pictures processing, attention and pain tolerance. Pain, 90, 163-172.
Goldstein, E. B. (2007). Sensation and Perception (7th Eds.). Wadsworth: Belmont, CA
Hoffman, H. G., Doctor, J. N., Patterson, D. R., Carrougher, G. J., & Furness, T. A. III (2000). Virtual reality as an adjunctive pain control during burn wound care in adolescent patients. Pain, 85, 305-309
Robertson, Linda A.; Smith, Heather L.; Ray, Shannon L.; Jones, K. Dayle. Journal of Counseling & Development, Summer2009, Vol. 87 Issue 3, p373-379, 7p
In the past, we might have heard of stories about people who slit their wrist or cut their skin. To some, it may appear that these kind of persons just want to grab some piece of attention. Others might abhor even just the thought of seeing someone’s blood flow from the self-inflicted wound. And of course, there are also people who would not give a second of their precious time to concern themselves regarding such a matter. We can only imagine about the pain that they are going through – physically and emotionally.
The seething pain that slowly creeps to their sensory receptors definitely accumulates, so what might be the possible causes for deciding to do such an act? Here are some of the plausible reasons that are suggested in the literature: a) it serves as a diversion from emotional distress (Winchel & Stanley,1991), b) aids in the regulation of negative e motions, c) helps in reducing unpleasant feelings of dissociation which leads to a feeling of being normal among self-injurers (Brown, Comtois, & Linehan, 2002). It must be noted, however that there could be differences in the meanings of pain as perceived by people who do not injure themselves than those who do (Hooley, Ho, Slater, and Lockshin, 2010).
How do we know what pain truly is and how could it possibly be measured? According to Tracey (2008) as cited by Hooley, Ho, Slater, and Lockshin (2010), pain refers to the “subjective and complex experience that involves the interpretation of nociceptive input” (p. 171). Measurement of pain can be determined through the measures of pain threshold and pain tolerance. Pain threshold can be defined as the minimum degree to which a person perceives or consciously experiences the pain-inducing stimulus (e.g. cold, pressure, heat). On the other hand, Hooley, Ho, Slater, and Lockshin (2010) operationalized the term pain tolerance as the duration of the time that a participant is able to endure the pain. It can be computed by subtracting the pain threshold from obtained time.
In a study about persons with nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), Hooley, Ho, Slater, and Lockshin (2010) hypothesized that persons who have higher pain threshold have a greater tendency to commit actions that inflict pain. Morever, they also hypothesized that engaging in behaviors that involve self-injury for a long time could result to an increase in the pain threshold. The experimenters utilized a pressure algometer which exerts focal pressure. The participants’ finger was put under the apparatus’ hinge and was then instructed to tap a switch when he/she already feels pain and when he/she can no longer tolerate the pain that was induced. It was shown in their results that individuals who injure themselves indeed have higher pain thresholds (able to bear the pain for a longer duration) than those persons who do not. There is also a positive correlation between being an NSSI individual (nonsuicidal self-injury) and the length of time that they have been inflicting pain on themselves. Hooley, Ho, Slater, and Lockshin (2010) suggested that this might be due to habituation (response to a specific stimuli decreases upon repeated exposure).
The horrifying truth that there are persons who judge themselves more negatively than others do and that they resort to engage in self-injuring should increase our awareness and concern for them. If you know someone is one, perhaps it would be helpful to talk to him. He/she might need a friend that could console him in times of sheer despair. Better yet, you could refer him to a psychologist. It is never too late.
REFERENCES:
Brown, M. Z., Comtois, K. A., & Linehan, M. M. (2002). Reasons for suicide attempts and nonsuicidal self-injury in women with borderline personality disorder. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 111, 198–202.
Hooley, J. M., Ho, D. T., Slater, J. & Lockshin, A. (2010). Pain Perception and Nonsuicidal Self-Injury: A Laboratory Investigation. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 3, 170-179.
Winchel, R. M., & Stanley, M. (1991). Self injurious behavior: A review of the behavior and biology of self-mutilation. American Journal of Psychiatry, 148, 306–317.
(Jeni)
Every 3rd Sunday of June, we greet our pops "Happy Father's Day!". There are a lot of reasons why we celebrate this special occassion- to give honor to our fathers, to show them that they are special, and of course to show that we love them. but these reasons are already cliche and old school right, everybody knows that already, you're dad might also be tired of that hallmark statetement you write in the card every year. Here are new ones-
· You’re dad can save you from STD in the future
· He can lessen the risk of you having breast cancer
· He can even make your alcohol consumption less in the future
All of these, thru his pheromones (of course also with love, concern and care. =))
Curious much? Read on…
But let me tell you, this won't apply if you're a boy. Sad. Sad. However, if you plan to have kids-especially daughters, in the future, this might help.
Do you know that early onset of puberty in girls have a lot of negative effects? These are what Ellis, McFadyen- Ketchum, Pettit, Dodge & Bates (1999) cited:
· early maturing girls are at greater risk later in life for breast cancer (e.g., Kampert, Whittemore, & Paffenbarger, 1988; Vihko & Apter, 1986)
· unhealthy weight gain (e.g., Ness, 1991;Wellens et aL, 1992)
· have higher rates of teenage pregnancy (e.g.,Manlove, 1997; Udry & Cliquet, 1982)
· more likely to have low-birthweight babies (Scholl et al., 1989)
In the psychosocial aspect, Ellis, et.al. (1999) cited Caspi & Moffitt (1991) Flannery, Rowe, & Gulley (1993) Graber, Lewinsohn, Seeley, & Brooks-Gunn(1997); Mezzich et al. (1997) Susman, Nottleman, Inoff-Germain, Loriaux, &Chrousos (1985) for the following effects of early puberty;
· tend to show more disturbances in body image
· report more emotional problems such as depression and anxiety
· engage in more problem behaviors such as alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity reproductive strategies.
We know we don’t want these, right? Now, we know that later puberty and maturity among girls undergoing adolescence would be better and would yield more positive results later in life.
Here is where your father comes in, in Ellis’ et.al. (1999) 8-year longitudinal study of 173 girls, they found out that…
· Greater father-daughter affectionate-positivity during the prekindergarten observations was associated with later pubertal timing by daughters in seventh grade.
· More time spent by the father in child care, greater supportiveness in the parental dyad, more father-daughter affectionate-positivity, predicted later pubertal timing by daughters in seventh grade.
· All of the behavioral-observation data on father-that quality of early family relationships influences timing of pubertal development in adolescence
· Girls who were in single-mother homes at age 5 tended to experience earlier puberty.
In short, you’ll become a relatively better person with an ensured future if your dad is close to you and cares for you earlier in life. Having a responsible father who is involved in child care and child rearing affects the daughter’s physiological and psychosocial development- making it more positive.
Now, let’s answer an interesting question: HOW?
Here are some of Ellis’ et.al. (1999) explanations. Here, you can just read the explanations in bold letters, the ones that are not in bold are Ellis’ et.al. lengthy explanations alongside other experiments, just included if you’re interested.
1. Stress caused by lack of closeness in the family- especially dad and mom would make puberty occur earlier.
“stress is the causal mechanism but that it is the particular kind of stress associated with either low levels of positive family relationships, a lack of paternal investment, or both that provokes earlier puberty”
2. In the absence of the biological father, stepfathers and boyfriends of the mothers, releases pheromones that would facilitate earlier onset of puberty.
“Research on a variety of mammalian species (e.g., mice, cows, pigs, tamarins) indicates that exposure to pheromones produced by unrelated adult male conspecifics accelerates female pubertal development (Izard, 1990; Sanders & Reinisch, 1990; Ziegler, Snowdon, & Uno, 1990). Consistent with findings from this animal research, Ellis and Garber's (in press) findings indicated that years of exposure to unrelated father figures (stepfathers and mothers' boyfriends), rather than years of biological father absence, best accounted for earlier pubertal timing in girls”
3. Pheromones released by the biological father absorbed by the daughters would activate their natural incest-prevention mechanism, inhibiting the girls’ early sexual development. Later on in life, these girls would “begin sex and dating at a later age (e.g., Flinn, 1988; Hetherington, 1972 cited in Ellis, et.al., 1999) and thus have less pheromonal exposure to male dating partners in early adolescence.”
“Another possible mechanism is inhibition of pubertal development through pheromonal exposure to the biological father (Hoogland, 1982; Surbey, 1990). There is some evidence in the animal research literature that the presence of closely related adult males inhibits reproductive maturation in females (and may function as an incest avoidance mechanism). In prairie dogs, for example, first ovulation is delayed in females who remain in contact with their biological fathers (Hoogland, 1982).”
References, ignore them if you’re too busy…
Ellis, B., McFadyen- Ketchum, S., Pettit, G., Dodge, K., & Bates, J. (1999). Quality of Early Family Relationships and Individual Differences in the Timing of Pubertal Maturation in Girls: A Longitudinal Test of an Evolutionary Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 77, No. 2. 387-401.
Caspi, A., & Moffitt, T. E. (1991). Individual differences are accentuated
during periods of social change: The sample case of girls at puberty.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 157-168.
Flannery, D. J., Rowe, D. C., & Gulley, B. J. (1993). Impact of pubertal
status, timing, and age on adolescent sexual experience and delinquency.
Journal of Adolescent Research, 8, 21-40.
Flinn, M. V. (1988). Parent-offspring interactions in a Caribbean village:
Daughter guarding. In L. Betzig, M. Burgerhoff Mulder, & P. Turke
(Eds.), Human reproductive behaviour (pp. 189-200). Cambridge, England
Graber, J. A., Lewinsohn, P. M., Seeley, J. R., & Brooks-Gunn, J. (1997).
Is psychopathology associated with the timing of pubertal development?
Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
36, 1768-1776.
Hetherington, E. M. (1972). Effects of father absence on personality
development in adolescent daughters. Developmental Psychology, 7,
313-326
Hoogland, J. L. (1982, March). Prairie dogs avoid extreme inbreeding.
Science, 215, 1639-1641.
Izard, M. K. (1990). Social influences on the reproductive success and
reproductive endocrinology of prosimian primates. In T. E. Ziegler &
F. B. Bercovitch (Eds.), Socioendocrinology of primate reproduction
(pp. 159-186). New York: Wiley-Liss
Kampert, J. B., Whittemore, A. S., & Paffenbarger, R. S. (1988). Combined
effects of childbearing, menstrual events, and body size on agespecific
breast cancer risk. American Journal of Epidemiology, 128,
962-979.
Manlove, J. (1997). Early motherhood in an intergenerational perspective:
The experiences of a British cohort. Journal of Marriage and the
Family, 59, 263-279.
Mezzich, A. C, Tarter, R. E., Giancola, P. R., Lu, S., Kirisci, L., & Parks,
S. (1997). Substance use and risky sexual behavior in female adolescents.
Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 44, 157-166.
Ness, R. (1991). Adiposity and age of menarche in Hispanic women.
American Journal of Human Biology, 3, 41-48.
Sanders, S. A., & Reinisch, J. M. (1990). Biological and social influences
on the endocrinology of puberty: Some additional considerations. In J.
Bancroft & J. M. Reinisch (Eds.), Adolescence and puberty (pp. 50-62).
New York: Oxford University Press.
Scholl, T. 0., Hdiger, M. L., Vasilenko, P., Ill, Ances, I. G., Smith, W., &
Salmon, R. W. (1989). Effects of early maturation on fetal growth.
Annals of Human Biology, 16, 335-346
Surbey, M. (1990). Family composition, stress, and human menarche. In F.
Bercovitch & T. Zeigler (Eds.), The socioendocrinology of primate
reproduction (pp. 71-97). New York: Liss.
Susman, E. J., Nottleman, E. D., Inoff-Germain, G. E., Loriaux, D. L., &
Chrousos, G. P. (1985). The relation of relative hormonal levels and
physical development and social-emotional behavior in young adolescents.
Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 14, 245-264.
Udry, J. R., & Cliquet, R. L. (1982). A cross-cultural examination of the
relationship between ages at menarche, marriage, and first birth. Demography,
19, 53-63
Vihko, R. K., & Apter, D. L. (1986). The epidemiology and endocrinology
of the menarche in relation to breast cancer. Cancer Survey, 5, 561-571.
Wellens, R., Malina, R., Roche, A., Chumlea, W., Guo, S., & Siervogel, R.
(1992). Body size and fatness in young adults in relation to age at
menarche. American Journal of Human Biology, 4, 783-787.
Ziegler, T. E., Snowdon, C. T., & Uno, H. (1990). Social interactions and
determinations of ovulation in tamarins (Saguinus). In T. E. Ziegler &
F. B. Bercovitch (Eds.), Socioendocrinology of primate reproduction
(pp. 159-186). New York: Wiley-Liss.
Talk to ze Hand
Dear Hand,
My new boyfriend is French, and he barely knows how to speak a word of English. On the other hand, I’m trying to learn his language, but it’s hard, especially because he speaks to me primarily in French. Any advice?
Moulin Rouge
Chère Rouge,
Your problem is more common than you think. Human speech is indeed an unusual way of communication in the natural order of things. It does not have the simplicity of biochemical signals from both plants and animals, or the extreme efficiency of animal cries when it comes to conveying their intentions to hunt, to mate and to survive. Same species across time and space, regardless of origins, can understand one another’s intent and biological state with little difficulty, if not easily. Not so for us humans and our myriad languages.
From the basic component of speech which is the phoneme we see how different people from different ethnolinguistic backgrounds already have variations in how language comprehension occurs. Phonemes are the building blocks of syllables, which are in turn parts of words. In any single language, altering a single phoneme can drastically change the meaning of the word, moreso when that word is taken in a different linguistic context.
Learning a new language brings with it a number of dilemmas, including the segmentation problem and the variability problem. The segmentation problem has been asked because it has been observed that our input of auditory stimuli does not happen in individual spurts, but rather in a constant stream. How, then, are we able to identify particular details and singular words? Even using the most advanced of auditory measuring devices, which analyzes the spectral images of speech, we see that breaks in sound do not necessarily equate to breaks in speech patterns. It is here that we see culture come into action: a person used to a certain language can easily identify specific linguistic elements and ascribe meanings to them, thereby giving value to the content of the speech. A foreigner unfamiliar to the vernacular hears only a steady blabber, and being unable to pin down words, could not infer the meaning of the speech. The segmentation problem is a lot more difficult for languages with no pauses in between sentences. French, for instance, is a continuous tongue, halting only at the end of every sentence, words flowing into each other especially if the first one ends in a vowel and the second starts with a consonant. This highlights the segmentation problem more, making even students of this particular Romantic language strain to note down individual words and concepts.
The variability problem also presents a predicament for foreigners and language students alike. According to it, we see specific phonemes in its own linguistic context; that is, the /b/ in bat is different from the /b/ in boot because although both are of a single phoneme the succeeding acoustic signal alters their individual meanings. It also depends on the one speaking. For example, a person says bat differently compared to another person using the same language but with a different set of speech patterns, including variance in the accent, speed and pronunciation clarity. In many ways, this becomes a hassle for students learning a specific language in an environment which does not foster it: local teachers, for one, have a distinct way of pronouncing words and ending sentences which may not be similar to how native speakers speak. One’s own speech patterns could also affect the way one speaks another language. For example, people who are articulate in German, a hard, guttural tongue, find it somewhat difficult to adjust to soft, nasal French. French people, on the other hand, would most probably find Tagalog hard to learn, with the latter’s clearly pronounced vowels and word endings.
The variability problem compounds with the segmentation one to make a new language harder to comprehend. Because of the changing nature of speech depending on the context, it is trickier to infer sentence segments based merely on what one hears. For language students whose teachers speak to them only in their object inference, this makes it more difficult, because the student does not as of yet have clear segmentation. Even if they do, the neural associations ascribed to meanings have not yet been established yet, thereby creating multiple sensory signals which can become more confusing in time. Enter the multimodality of speech.
Just like in virtually all aspects of a normal person’s life, auditory signals work in concert with stimuli from the other sensory modalities to create a better mental image of the world. This is seen in human communication primarily through eye contact and non-verbal cues. A man saying something unintelligible in a foreign language may seem impossible to comprehend, but with him pointing at, say, you, a table laden with food and then to his mouth, we somehow understand the message that he is offering us to eat. Similarly, hand gestures and body poses help us not merely in making sense of foreign languages but also in our daily lives, making it extremely easier for us to convey our thoughts across.
To be sure, non-verbal communication has its flaws, too. Differences in cultural backgrounds can lead to misunderstanding. An example would be the OK sign, with the thumb and the forefinger pressed together and the three other fingers raised. In the United States, it’s typically a positive signal, but in Venezuela and Turkey it’s an insult to a person’s sexuality. In Germany it can mean to be an asshole, while in Japan it’s commonly held to represent money.
Learning a new language is never an easy task, because it brings with it not only problems regarding memorization and linguistic rules, but also cultural and social dilemmas as well. That is why it is important to be decisive about it and work hard to try to learn it, of course applying lessons learned from the psychology of language and speech perception. Love comes in to save the day, too. If your love is pure and you’re willing to devote a lot of your brain cells to learn his language, then good for you. Bonne chance!
amitiés,
Hand Sam
p.s. Immersion is still the best way to learn a language. Ask your boyfriend if he can afford you guys living in France. :)
References:
Goldstein, E. B. (2007). Sensation and Perception (7th Eds.). Wadsworth: Belmont, CA.
Psychology of Language
Dear Hand,
My boyfriend and I love each other very much, but we fight frequently. It can be all about the little things: food choices, what I wear, the fact he criticizes me for how bad I do in Math, for which I retaliate by telling him I can speak French fluently and he can’t even express himself well in English. One time I was talking to another, and later he accused me of being flirty with him even though I know I was not so. He can get on my nerves, and I’m sure the same thing happens to him, too. Is it true that men and women perceive and think differently? What should we do then?
Love the Way You Lie
Dear Love,
The question of male and female differences in perception and cognition has been around for ever since there has been man and woman. We turn to Dr. Doreen Kimura, a leading behavioral psychologist and an international expert on the differences between the brains of the male and female of our species, to answer this question. Her researches are ground-breaking in the sense that they try to dispel the notion that men and women perceive and think the same and how it is negative to try to act as if things were so. The following in gray are excerpts taken from her website:
Kimura currently studies how male and female brains process information differently — their cognitive functions. She also looks at how natural chemicals in our bodies, called hormones, relate to different cognitive patterns in men and women, in much the same way that other hormone studies have discovered different physical asymmetries in men and women. For example, researchers have found that, on average, men have larger right testicles and women have larger left breasts.
Kimura’s research can be said to counter the feminist movement in the sense that it paints men as more able and more intelligent than women.
Kimura’s research has shown that, on average, men outperform women on a variety of spatial tasks, especially when an object must be identified in an altered orientation, or after certain imaginary manipulations such as folding. Men also excel at tests of mathematical reasoning, with the differences between sexes most remarkable when it comes to the most brilliant mathematicians. Women, in contrast, are generally better able to recall the spatial layout of an array of objects, to scan arrays quickly to find matching objects and to recall words, whether word lists or meaningful paragraphs. These sex differences usually begin at an early age and last a lifetime. They also occur across cultures.
However, in some sociocultural aspects, women perform better than men when it comes to task completion and ability, like language.
Kimura is investigating why women have an advantage over men in the recall of verbal material. She has shown that this advantage applies to words such as “idea,” which convey abstract concepts, as well as to words like “potato,” which name real things. Strangely, she finds that, on average, women are not better at recalling nonsense words such as “borgin,” a preliminary finding she is pursuing.
One might question Professor Kimura’s motives for studying the topic in relation to brain structure. But in the passage she asserts that:
[her] experiments [are] purely for the purpose of increasing human knowledge about the differences between men and women with no particular practical application in mind. However, in an environment where it can be politically dangerous to question popular notions of the equality of men and women, her research is perceived by some to be very controversial. Kimura believes it’s natural for men and women to choose different careers, preferring jobs that best fit their innate talents.
Professor Kimura is deeply critical of the existing status quo wherein women and men are pitted against each other on the same levels and fields.
According to Kimura, the larger number of men in fields of mathematics, computing, engineering, and physics is a fact of life. She criticizes recent initiatives to increase the representation of women in these disciplines. She says, “Engaging in coercive social engineering to balance the sex ratios may actually be the worst kind of discrimination. It also serves to entice some people into fields they will neither excel in nor enjoy.”
I think her research is a brave undertaking, trying to answer a question that has not been asked by people, especially men, since the dawn of radical feminism. It might be good if we could all take a page from her book and try to look past conventions in this new era of modern psychology.
Okay, we’ve established how different males and females are from each other. However, even if your case is all about the irreconcilable disparities between a man and a woman, it should also be noted that your differences are merely perceived; that is, with the right line of thinking, as rational human beings employing knowledge into the perceptual process, you should be able to counter and balance your attitudes to maintain a good relationship. In other words, don’t mind the little differences so much. Think about it: man and woman have coexisted through millennia without getting each other killed (yet), and even managed to make babies. If our forerunners with smaller brains can do this, why can’t you, with your knowledge of the perceptual process?
Evolutionarily,
Hand Sam
p. s. Hmmm… Although if it bothers you so much being with your boyfriend, try having a relationship with another girl. Maybe that’ll work better. And it’s hotter, too. ;-)
References:
Goldstein, E. B. (2007). Sensation and Perception (7th Eds.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
Lee, J. A. (1988). In R. J. Sternbergs and M. L. Barnes (Eds.),The psychology of love. New Haven: Yale University Press.
Rubin, Z. (1973). Liking and Loving: An invitation to social psychology. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
Sternberg, R. J. (1988). Triangulating love. In R. J. Sternbergs and M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love. New Haven: Yale University Press.
http://www.science.ca/scientists/scientistprofile.php?pID=10