Talk to ze Hand

Talk to ze Hand

Dear Hand,

My boyfriend and I love each other very much, but we fight frequently. It can be all about the little things: food choices, what I wear, the fact he criticizes me for how bad I do in Math, for which I retaliate by telling him I can speak French fluently and he can’t even express himself well in English. One time I was talking to another, and later he accused me of being flirty with him even though I know I was not so. He can get on my nerves, and I’m sure the same thing happens to him, too. Is it true that men and women perceive and think differently? What should we do then?

Love the Way You Lie

Dear Love,

The question of male and female differences in perception and cognition has been around for ever since there has been man and woman. We turn to Dr. Doreen Kimura, a leading behavioral psychologist and an international expert on the differences between the brains of the male and female of our species, to answer this question. Her researches are ground-breaking in the sense that they try to dispel the notion that men and women perceive and think the same and how it is negative to try to act as if things were so. The following in gray are excerpts taken from her website:

Kimura currently studies how male and female brains process information differently — their cognitive functions. She also looks at how natural chemicals in our bodies, called hormones, relate to different cognitive patterns in men and women, in much the same way that other hormone studies have discovered different physical asymmetries in men and women. For example, researchers have found that, on average, men have larger right testicles and women have larger left breasts.

Kimura’s research can be said to counter the feminist movement in the sense that it paints men as more able and more intelligent than women.

Kimura’s research has shown that, on average, men outperform women on a variety of spatial tasks, especially when an object must be identified in an altered orientation, or after certain imaginary manipulations such as folding. Men also excel at tests of mathematical reasoning, with the differences between sexes most remarkable when it comes to the most brilliant mathematicians. Women, in contrast, are generally better able to recall the spatial layout of an array of objects, to scan arrays quickly to find matching objects and to recall words, whether word lists or meaningful paragraphs. These sex differences usually begin at an early age and last a lifetime. They also occur across cultures.

However, in some sociocultural aspects, women perform better than men when it comes to task completion and ability, like language.

Kimura is investigating why women have an advantage over men in the recall of verbal material. She has shown that this advantage applies to words such as “idea,” which convey abstract concepts, as well as to words like “potato,” which name real things. Strangely, she finds that, on average, women are not better at recalling nonsense words such as “borgin,” a preliminary finding she is pursuing.

One might question Professor Kimura’s motives for studying the topic in relation to brain structure. But in the passage she asserts that:

[her] experiments [are] purely for the purpose of increasing human knowledge about the differences between men and women with no particular practical application in mind. However, in an environment where it can be politically dangerous to question popular notions of the equality of men and women, her research is perceived by some to be very controversial. Kimura believes it’s natural for men and women to choose different careers, preferring jobs that best fit their innate talents.

Professor Kimura is deeply critical of the existing status quo wherein women and men are pitted against each other on the same levels and fields.

According to Kimura, the larger number of men in fields of mathematics, computing, engineering, and physics is a fact of life. She criticizes recent initiatives to increase the representation of women in these disciplines. She says, “Engaging in coercive social engineering to balance the sex ratios may actually be the worst kind of discrimination. It also serves to entice some people into fields they will neither excel in nor enjoy.”

I think her research is a brave undertaking, trying to answer a question that has not been asked by people, especially men, since the dawn of radical feminism. It might be good if we could all take a page from her book and try to look past conventions in this new era of modern psychology.

Okay, we’ve established how different males and females are from each other. However, even if your case is all about the irreconcilable disparities between a man and a woman, it should also be noted that your differences are merely perceived; that is, with the right line of thinking, as rational human beings employing knowledge into the perceptual process, you should be able to counter and balance your attitudes to maintain a good relationship. In other words, don’t mind the little differences so much. Think about it: man and woman have coexisted through millennia without getting each other killed (yet), and even managed to make babies. If our forerunners with smaller brains can do this, why can’t you, with your knowledge of the perceptual process?

Evolutionarily,

Hand Sam

p. s. Hmmm… Although if it bothers you so much being with your boyfriend, try having a relationship with another girl. Maybe that’ll work better. And it’s hotter, too. ;-)

References:

Goldstein, E. B. (2007). Sensation and Perception (7^th Eds.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Lee, J. A. (1988). In R. J. Sternbergs and M. L. Barnes (Eds.),The psychology of love. New Haven: Yale University Press.

Rubin, Z. (1973). Liking and Loving: An invitation to social psychology. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.

Sternberg, R. J. (1988). Triangulating love. In R. J. Sternbergs and M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love. New Haven: Yale University Press.

http://www.science.ca/scientists/scientistprofile.php?pID=10